Christina DiArcangelo ( CEO, Chairwoman, Affinity Patient Advocacy )
As the CEO of Affinity Patient Advocacy, I feel that it is my duty to share my experiences growing up in a household with two (2) family members with extreme mental health disabilities. Since it is the month of May and it is Mental Health Awareness month, I would be reminisced if I did not share from my heart this message.
Growing up with family members who struggle with mental health disabilities can be a complex and challenging experience. As someone who grew up with a mother and brother with mental health disabilities, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to navigate these challenges. I did not learn about my mother’s mental health disabilities until I was graduating high school and was advised that my mother would not be coming to my graduation because she could not leave our home. One of the mental health disabilities that she was suffering from is called Agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder which makes it difficult for people to leave their environments with ease.
I believe that one of the biggest challenges of growing up with a mentally ill family members was the lack of understanding and stigma surrounding mental health. When I was younger, I did not fully understand what my mother and brother were going through. I would often blame myself for their struggles, thinking that if I could just be a better daughter/sister, they would be happy. I constantly put blame on myself which continued throughout my lifetime leading up to their deaths. My brother passed away January 9, 2022, and my mother passed away January 13, 2023.
Over time, I came to understand that mental disabilities is are a complex condition that requires professional help and support. I have been blessed to work in the clinical research industry and work on mental health therapeutic areas in my career. While, I have worked on clinical programs supporting mental health therapeutic areas, I learned how to be an ally for my family members by advocating for them, offering support, and encouraging them to seek help when they needed it. However, often my family members resisted the encouragement, advocacy, and support. Even though they may have pushed back on my multiple offers for help, I kept trying. I never gave up on them and fought for them up until they took their last breathes. They were my family members, and I miss them every day.
Another challenge of growing up with a mentally ill family member is the impact it can have on family dynamics. Mental illness can cause tension and conflict within families, and it can be challenging to maintain healthy relationships when everyone is struggling. This was very, very difficult. My father tried his best to make sure that our household was a peaceful environment, but it was not an easy task for him to handle. My father had a very challenging childhood riddled with abuse, alcoholism, and mental health disabilities within his immediate family. My father did not always have the tools at his disposable that would have assisted him with disabilities that arose within our household.
In my family, we had to work diligently to establish open communication, and we did not have healthy boundaries. Most of the time, our family dynamics were tumultuous and very difficult to navigate. When I was able to start working legally at age 16, I did so. I wanted to escape the environment that I was in. Working was my escape. Which meant that I overworked which was not healthy for me, but I was looking for an escape from the madness in my childhood home.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from growing up with a mentally disabled family member is the importance of self-care. It can be easy to get caught up in the needs of others and neglect your own needs when you are in a caregiving role. However, it is essential to take care of yourself first, so you can be a better support system for your loved ones.
Much later in my life, after a great deal of therapy, I made a conscious effort to prioritize self- care by practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies I enjoyed, and seeking out my own therapy when I needed it. By taking care of my own mental health, I am better able to be there for my family members when they need me.
Much later in my life, after a great deal of therapy, I made a conscious effort to prioritize self- care by practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies I enjoyed, and seeking out my own therapy when I needed it. By taking care of my own mental health, I am better able to be there for my family members when they need me.
While growing up with a mentally ill family members can be challenging, it is also an opportunity for growth and resilience. It taught me the importance of compassion, empathy, and understanding. It also made me more resilient and adaptable, as I learned how to navigate difficult situations and cope with stress. It has also aided me in being the patient advocate and clinical research executive that I am today.
I am grateful for the lessons I learned from growing up with mentally disabled family members. While it was not always easy, it shaped me into the person I am today. I am proud to advocate for mental health patients and share my experiences with their family members to bring them solace, peace, and encouragement. It has taught me the value of self-care, open communication, and empathy, and it inspired me to pursue a career in mental health advocacy and support. It also helps me understand my own child who also has mental health disabilities.
If you are currently in a caregiving role for a family member with mental illness, I encourage you to prioritize your own needs first, seek support when you need it for yourself, and remember that you are not alone. There are resources and support available to help you navigate these challenges, like Affinity Patient Advocacy, and it is essential to take care of your own mental health as well as your loved ones.
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